Manifesto: The Green Machine

The Bachelor’s 10-pack impresses but his ladies could do without the pancake makeup and flammable ball gowns

Arthur Green. Picture / Supplied.

The Bachelor television franchise has finally hit our shores. For those (very few) of you who aren’t familiar with it, the premise is short and simple: one chosen bachelor — handsome, tall, fit, the works — is dangled like a carrot in front of 21 lusting females, of whom one will find true love with the male specimen.

Obviously, the formula only works if all 21 of the girls want to date said man from the first meeting. And without significant knowledge of the bachelor’s background or personality they only have one benchmark to rely on: looks.

So around the world it’s suffice to say The Bachelor franchise selects quite fine specimens of the male race — this is our modern day version of gladiatorial combat, albeit a car crash TV version.

The New Zealand producers have certainly upped the ante when it comes to looks, choosing Arthur Green, a Martinborough-born 26-year-old.

Watching the first episode with some female (and male) friends drew audible gasps. “Oh my God, he’s so hot!” cried one. “Those girls are punching way above their weight!” sniped another.

Don’t even get me to episode two, when we got to see Arthur’s body. There was a collective “Oh, my God,” between my friends staring at the TV. “Ridiculously hot!” observed my friend Eden.

Can you imagine how the contestants must be feeling? There’s a frenzy around Green, and for good reason. His handsome GQ looks are coupled with an Adonis-like physique that is, well, ridiculous. Tall, lean, cut, Green doesn’t have a  six-pack, he’s got a 10-pack. The contestants are literally chomping at their bits. Who can blame them?

Sartorially, Green hasn’t put a wrong foot forward. Slim trousers, nice shirts, good shoe choices ... if stylists are at work they are doing a great job. Stylish but not trendy, modern yet classic. He’s not hip, but that’s  okay.

As for the girls ...  hmmm. During the first episode I thought I had accidentally hit a remote control button and flipped over to a rerun of Geordie Shore.

What’s up with all the pancake make-up and flammable ball gowns? I think if the show’s stylists could rethink the ladies to better match Green’s laid back style they’ll have a match made in heaven.

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New Zealand Herald

New Zealand Herald

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