What to Do When You Have 'Nothing' to Wear

By Lisa Armstrong
Viva
Gucci. Picture / Supplied.

Few things highlight the futility of human existence more poignantly than the Festive Sequin, especially when that sequin — it’s generally sequins in the plural — lies on the floor, detached from its intended resting place, and you haven’t even got it out of the store.

The problem is that in a crisis, and December is one long sartorial crisis, the sequin is where it’s at. Whatever the event — office Christmas party, Secret Santa photo-call with Poppy Delevingne, Christmas lunch with the in-laws etc etc — the shops endlessly shove sequins our way. But here’s the paradox: the more sequined items one has, the less one has to wear. This is partly because sequined items have a habit of going bald after a couple of wears.

But also they're just not that versatile. So, stop with the sequins. Instead, let's revisit the style basics. You'll feel morally better in the long run — and look infinitely more chic. Too busy? If you have time to plan for a 20-step menu for Christmas lunch, you have time to start plotting a versatile wardrobe that will see you through every eventuality for the next year and beyond — from important days at the office to wedding receptions. Here's an 11-step cleanse:

1. Rather than rushing out to buy another one-wear party dress, take a deep breath. If you have a last-minute invitation, the chances are you already have something in your wardrobe that will work.

2. Don't buy for specific events. Designer Anna Valentine makes a strong case for a different approach. "The ideal modern wardrobe isn't about having an extensive and rarely worn collection of outfits for different occasions but a carefully selected capsule wardrobe of versatile clothes you love. I wear the same clothes for work, in the evenings, for events and even on holiday. It's about combining the functional with luxurious textures and alluring details."

3. Don't be cowed by dress codes. They're there for guidance, not psychological torture. Observe them in spirit; that's only polite. But don't necessarily follow them to the letter. Trousers to a wedding? "Definitely. I wear palazzos with a slim, structured top to weddings," says Jane Lewis, whose label Goat specialises in simple separates and dresses that don't date or confine themselves to one function.

4. By all means splurge on one all-singing, all-dancing showstopper, but, unless you have unlimited funds and space and it won't clutter your thinking, only one. Otherwise seek out the less obvious. .

5. Think laterally. What is it that draws you to a show-piece? If it's the embellishment, how about a decorative jacket rather than a skirt or entire dress? They're more comfortable (have you tried to sit on Swarovski crystal flowers?) and a jacket, especially, gets taken off, so is less likely to wear out everyone else's eyes..

6. Being sensible doesn't mean focusing on endlessly muted colours (unless that's what you love). If pattern is your hallmark, continue as usual. If you wear pattern infrequently, it's more likely to be noted. However, a patterned shirt (very Gucci (pictured), very now) can be flexible — slipped under knitted tanks, pinafores

7.Talking of colours — black, navy, grey, chocolate are endlessly accommodating backgrounds, but so too are what Jane Lewis calls "in-between shades": teal, bottle green, inky aubergines, khaki and a gamut of dusty pastels — all of which go with almost everything else. In glossy fabrics they work well for evening but are subtle enough for day.

8. A bold, architectural silhouette is a strong statement in its own right. It doesn't need bells and whistles and will be much more useful without.

9. Buy less. It sounds obvious. One little black dress that's exactly the right length, with a neckline and sleeves that show just enough skin is so much more useful and enjoyable to wear than four or five that don't quite do the trick. Adjust your cost per wear budget accordingly and direct your next outlay not on another black dress, but on accessories.

10. Look for details that lend an item subtle distinction. Jewelled buttons take a jacket or jumper into party or wedding guest-territory without necessarily limiting their daytime use. Unexpected hybrid combinations — satin jogging pants, a khaki silk dress, embellished sweatshirts, an embroidered trench coat, metallic brogues or patent skate shoes — are like an Irish accent. They fit in anywhere.

11. Being chic and understated doesn't mean saying goodbye to the (clever) party piece. The versatile wardrobe has playful touches but they're adaptable as well.

— The Daily Telegraph

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